Condolence: F Forgiving. My Mom probably doesn’t know this about me… but my entire childhood I was horrifying in a grocery store with my Dad. I was the classic whining, crying, and sometimes screaming child being dragged down the aisle by my unbelievably lenient Dad. ..His love was unconditional. I know this because I’ve tested it many, many times – But he always forgave me. As an adult, Each time I apologize for truly causing him pain and complete frustration as a little kid – he’d either act like he didn’t know what I was talking about, or he’s start talking about mistakes he thought he had made as a parent. He was always trying to build us up. Stephen and I could not have asked for, or been blessed with a more forgiving, and loving father.

R Reflective. Dad was the kind of father that paid attention to his family. I love thinking about how he’d always find me by myself at some point during a family get-together to let me know he had been reflecting on the day by quickly tell me how it meant a lot to him to see things like “watching the grandchildren playing together on the floor in the living room,” “seeing Mom holding Nicholas as long as she could” when he was a baby, or “Stephen and I getting along together as adults,” - We were blessed to have a father who’s main-joy came from watching and being with his family.

A Accepting. There are too many examples of this characteristic to mention. Dad accepted each one of us for who and how we were. Possibly the most obvious, and the most meaningful act of acceptance- was of my husband Dean. When we dropped the bomb that Dean and I had been dating for over two years and he just asked me to marry him – Dad got on the phone and told me to “enjoy the moment.” He put my happiness in front of his concerns. Dean has felt nothing but complete acceptance and love from both Mom and Dad from day one. We are so grateful.

N Notices his family's needs. Dad was always thinking ahead for any problems we may run into. So thoughtful. I regret not being more appreciative of his constant concern for our wellbeing. He wanted the best for us in any and all situations.

K Knowledgable. My Dad was a very humble man. He was often putting himself down regarding his ‘Mr. fix-it’ abilities: however My Dad built a huge two story Horse barn by HAND and all by himself while working full time when we lived in Harford county. This barn held 200 bales of hay in it’s loft – It was quite an accomplishment for a few men, let alone One. Looking back – I seldom can remember him NOT fixing or improving something around the house. If he wasn’t working hard earning a living, he was working hard to keep things running smoothly at home. Thank you for your unceasing labor..

W Willing. Dad was WILLING to do WHATEVER it took to make life better, and or easier for his family. This could possibly be his greatest, most outstanding-quality. Whether it was going to school to learn computer basics, so he could readily use the internet to keep up with his kids or to find cooking recipes for Mom; or spending hours to day reading, underlining, and re-reading an instruction manual for a new purchase - Dad was 100% WILLING to LEARN about ANYTHING to keep life running smoothly.


I INTERESTED. If something was important to us…Dad was interested in what mattered to his family. He wanted us to know he wasn’t to be involved. – He came to nearly all my high school sports games – both at home and away games. That is a lot of games for a 3 season athlete – especially when he worked full time and had another kid to give some attention to. ;-D Dad never rushed us when he was watching us, but instead he was 100% present. It is really something to think of just how proud he was of his kids.


L LOVABLE. Dad would give me heck sometimes in the middle of a day by saying, “I didn’t get a hug from you when you got here!” Or on the phone he’d say, “I didn’t get a hug when you left.” He was the kind of dad that let you know he loved you, without being mushy about it. So these precious times when he reminded me that my hugs were of value – means the world to me now.

A favorite memory that just happened two weeks ago involved him seeking me out upon my arrival to give me a huge hug. Right after I arrived to the house that morning, I went right away to use the bathroom in the back bedroom. I heard Dad come into the bedroom – as I left the bathroom, I realized that he was looking for me to give him a consoling hug. He started to cry just a little, while he told me that he was scared his bladder cancer had come back. He was still so tall at 76 – that I remember being up on my tip toes to give him the biggest hug I could and to tell him that it was going to be okay – and that he was doing great, and that he was the bravest man I knew. We didn’t have many exchanges like that – because he rarely ever placed his fears on us – The last thing he ever wanted was for us to “get sick” worrying about him. That moment was an unspeakable gift to me, and I will never forget that hug as long as I live.

S SELFLESS- The core of his being when it came to mom, Stephen or I.

O Open. He may have had opinions on things- but he was always willing to listen - like when I got tattoos- He just left it alone. He probably conceeded 95% of the time just to keep the peace- But that's still says a lot about his openness and love regarding us kids!

N. Never too far away. ... Except now. ... But I'm so grateful he had a "good death"- mom is too. She said it tonight. I know your always helping us from heaven to get through this mess! I know you put those red and yellow flowers right there at the check out line at Michaels because you were helping me make your prayer boards for the service. Thank you Dad. I love you more than I've ever let you know probably- but since you're in the Presence of Jesus- you know exactly how much you're loved and missed by each one of us.

Thank you thank you thank you for giving me this blessed life- for working so hard all those years to put me debt free through masters degree- our wedding- or first home- my first car- and all my mistakes. Thank you for your unrelenting concern for my wellbeing. I miss it already.

I could go on for ever... So I'll stop.
Love you-
Your "Stephie-dear," "hunny-bun"